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Resentment is powerful energy. Anyone who has lived through addiction knows this intimately. The resentment toward people who gave up on you, the professionals who reduced you to a diagnosis, the family members who quietly mourned you while you were still alive—and the resentment toward yourself for confirming every fear they had. I know all about resentments.

For years, that resentment burned me from the inside out. I tried to suppress it, spiritualize it away, forgive it before I had earned the right to, even though I can’t hold a grudge to save my life. None of that worked. Suppressed resentment doesn’t dissolve—it rots. Especially when your like me and aren’t even aware its festering.

The Sacred Pivot happens when you stop trying to destroy that energy and instead reclaim it.

I didn’t turn resentment into bitterness. I turned it into fuel. Every doubt became evidence of how radical my transformation would have to be. Every “you can’t” became a direction arrow pointing toward who I was determined to become. My higher power stopped being something external I had to believe in and became something internal I had to build.

This is where purpose is forged—not gifted. Purpose isn’t found through inspiration alone; it’s born through defiance, discipline, and direction. When resentment is alchemized into purpose, it becomes sacred. It no longer poisons you. It powers you.

That pivot is often the first real step in recovery—because it’s the moment you stop surviving and start aiming. One of the most essential steps in doing so for me to keeping an open mind even if coming from an angle of pure skepticism.

Addiction strips identity before it destroys behavior.

Long before substances take everything else, they take the story you tell about who you are. You become a diagnosis. A liability. A problem to be managed.

Even recovery spaces, often unintentionally, can reinforce this by anchoring identity to symptoms instead of sovereignty, and other professionals contribute to feelings of inadequacy and inferiority such as state’s attorneys, police officers, or correctional officers.

This exact scenario contributed to my decades long revolving door of incarceration.

Sovereign Identity is the reclamation of authorship.

It’s the moment you stop seeing yourself as “someone with addiction” and start seeing yourself as someone with a story still being written. It’s the refusal to let your past define your capacity for growth. It’s recognizing that your experiences—especially the painful ones—contain intelligence, wisdom, and earned authority.

For me, this meant dismantling every inherited narrative:

• That I was broken.
• That I lacked willpower.
• That I would always need to be managed.
• That I couldn’t be trusted with my own life.
• That I would never change.
• That I wasn’t worth it.
• That I would be the next fatal overdose.
• That I would never amount to more than being a drug dealer,
• and you get the idea.

Instead, I integrated spiritual practices that served me, not ones I was told I should believe in. Mindfulness wasn’t about escaping my thoughts—it was about learning to sit with them without obeying them. Reflection wasn’t about guilt—it was about clarity. Growth wasn’t about becoming someone else—it was about reclaiming myself.

Sovereign identity is the backbone of spiritual recovery. Without it, everything else collapses under pressure.

Addiction thrives in secrecy. Recovery requires witness.

You cannot heal in isolation—not because you’re weak, but because transformation needs reflection. We don’t fully believe in our own becoming until someone else sees it and names it back to us.

You can be like I was and deny this, but my denial really ultimately prolonged my suffering. Even now I won’t admit to needing anyone for anything, so yeah- I took big issue with having to admit that I needed external validation and encouragement from others, but that didn’t change the fact that I most definitely did or that it was so foreign to me that it actually worked.

The Witnessed Journey isn’t about crowds or applause. It’s about safe mirrors. People who don’t collapse when you’re honest. People who don’t romanticize your pain or reduce your growth. People who can hold complexity.

For some, that witness is found in a 12-step fellowship, as we discussed earlier. For others, it’s therapy, a small circle of trusted friends, or mental health professionals who understand both trauma and possibility.

For me, it was a mosaic—different people at different times, each reflecting a piece of the truth I was learning to embody. You would not believe the power that this one thing held for me and my future.

Being witnessed stabilizes identity. It keeps you accountable without shaming you. It anchors progress when self-doubt flares. And when you forget who you are—as we all do—your tribe remembers for you.

No one builds a new life alone. They build it with witnesses. I would highly recommend those witnesses are not people who were friends throughout your addiction or people that you knew at all before. These should be people you are just beginning to know as your new self or maybe positive, drug-free family members. 

I am not going to tell you this part is easy. We aren’t the ebst at going out and building a completely new network of people. I still haven’t found my tribe. I have my best friend and he lives with us when he is sober and doing well as he is now. (Fingers crossed.)

My spiritual awakening has been and is one of the lonliest experiences of  my life, but if I am to be honest with myself- I need it. I still have no idea who I am or what I enjoy. Give that a try. Ask yourself, ‘what do I enjoy and want to do that will make me truly happy in my life today?’

I still can’t answer this question and that is why I haven’t earned my tribe yet. This is my path to shadow work, self-mastery, and divine timing. Just hang in there, keep working on yourself, and know that I am here for you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

This part matters more than people admit, and thats okay.

There is a moment—often quiet, often unexpected—when you realize you’ve crossed a threshold they never thought you would. You respond differently. You handle pressure with steadiness. You live a peaceful day in a life that was once chaos.

And it feels good. God, does it feel fan-freaking-tastic!

That feeling—the righteous burn—is not ego. It’s recognition. It’s your nervous system registering safety and capability at the same time. It’s your spirit acknowledging victory.

For years, we were buried under verdicts and opinions. That burn is the sound of rubble shifting.

The danger isn’t feeling it. The danger is denying it—or chasing it. When honored properly, validation becomes fuel, not fixation. You don’t live for their approval. You let the truth of your transformation register fully in your body, then you use it to move forward. No need to highlight it or announce what your doing. I promise, baby, they know. It becomes a power so intense it drives you forward in a way nothing else can.

Most would label it a replacement high or an ego boost thing and to stuff it or just get rid of it, but not me. I am telling you to privately marinate in it, enjoy it, FEEL it becausse you have worked so hard to get here after a life with so, so much pain and suffering, with people constanlty tearing you down, that you need to know and understand that YOU, my dearest friend, did THIS! You did it.

You have successfully proven them all wrong! Whether your accomplishment is the biggest, or the smallest, it does not matter. This is not something you have to rub into faces or point out at all. We keep it classy, lovey, and, for me, after my small accomplishemnts and people’s surprise at my smallest successes I was able to tap that (lol- tap that) and use it to drive me to bigger and bigger successes, and I am not even close to being done yet.

It is more powerful than you can imagine. I say: use it. Don’t listen to the hype that its unhealthy or unbecoming. I say as long as we revel in privacy and it continues to drive us to FEEL the FEELS of PROVING THEM ALL WRONG, because you have earned it, but again privately and respectfully, never rubbing it in. If you rub it in it steals the power and you will need it all moving you to your next successes.

Taste it. Acknowledge it. Then pivot it back into action and USE it.

That burn is your inner strength speaking. It’s evidence that the work is working, and if used properly it will continue to provide.

I no longer had to choose between science and spirit.

I integrated both—on my terms.

I respected the brain and the soul.
The body and the mind.
Responsibility and compassion.

This framework exists because neither of the old paths could hold the whole of me.

One ignored meaning. The other ignored biology. And living between them nearly destroyed me.

So I stopped choosing sides.

I chose myself.

And in doing so, I found a way of living that doesn’t require belief in authority, fear of punishment, or blind obedience—only awareness, intention, and truth.

That’s the bridge.
That’s the path I forged.
And that’s why it worked.

 Because these pillars weren’t borrowed from a book, a doctrine, or a system designed to manage people. They were built through trial, error, and lived experience—through paying attention to what actually changed my nervous system, my thinking, my behavior, and my relationship with life itself, after years of failing on repeat no matter how hard I tried.

I chose something with a negative cannotation (the feeling of proving them all wrong) because it not only resonated, but it freaking worked. I now thank the people that beat me down my whole life because they helped me create this framework, and if it worked for me, by golly, it can work for ANYONE.

They work because they address the whole human being.

Not just the brain chemistry.
Not just belief.
Not just behavior.

Addiction doesn’t live in one place, so recovery can’t either.

Each pillar targets a different layer of healing—biological, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and relational—without forcing them into competition with one another.

The Sacred Pivot works because it stops wasting energy.
Anger, resentment, defiance, and grief don’t disappear when ignored. They either turn inward or turn destructive. This pillar redirects that raw force into purpose. It transforms “I’ll show them” into “I’ll build something undeniable.” Energy that once fed addiction becomes fuel for creation.

Sovereign Identity works because addiction strips authorship.
Long before substances take control, identity collapses. You become a problem to solve instead of a person becoming. This pillar restores agency. You stop outsourcing your worth, your morality, and your future. You become the authority of your own life again—and that shift alone changes behavior.

Ritual Over Routine works because the nervous system learns through repetition, not inspiration.
Routine keeps you functional. Ritual keeps you regulated. When practices are infused with meaning—rather than obligation—they stabilize trauma patterns and create internal safety. Ritual becomes structure that holds you when willpower runs out.

The Witnessed Journey works because isolation is the breeding ground of addiction.
We don’t solidify identity in a vacuum. Healing requires reflection—safe people who can witness your growth without controlling it, minimizing it, or romanticizing your pain. This pillar anchors change in relationship, where it can last.

The Righteous Burn works because progress must be embodied.
Change becomes real when the body recognizes it. That surge of “I handled that differently” or “they were wrong about me” isn’t ego—it’s integration. When acknowledged consciously, it teaches the nervous system that a new identity is now safe to inhabit.

This framework doesn’t demand belief in authority.
It doesn’t require submission to institutions.
It doesn’t deny science or dismiss intuition.
It doesn’t bypass pain or glorify suffering.

It integrates what actually works:

• The reality of the brain and nervous system

• The power of meaning and purpose

• The intelligence of intuition

• The stabilizing force of ritual

• The necessity of connection

• The dignity of self-authorship

It allows anger without shame.
Questioning without exile.
Healing without obedience.

It works because it treats recovery not as compliance—but as construction.

You are not fixing what’s broken.
You are building what was never supported.

That’s how the pillars work.
That’s why they work.

This isn’t about dogma.
It’s about utility.

Frameworks fail when they demand belief before proof. This one doesn’t. It asks for participation, not perfection. These first steps are intentionally simple—not because the work is small, but because small, intentional actions are what rewire lives.

You are not being asked to overhaul everything. You are being asked to begin consciously.

Do not try to change everything.

Choose one small thing, done with intention, for your spiritual growth.

• Five minutes of quiet.
• A walk without your phone.
• Writing one honest paragraph in the morning.
• Sitting with your breath instead of numbing.
• A five minute guided meditation daily.
• Practice five minutes of gratitude.
• Talk a walk in the woods.
• Sit with a beautiful old tree, place your hand upon it, and see what comes.
• Spend time with crystals and herbs.
• Start growing plants in your house.
• Give plants you have grown to friends and family.
• Start smiling at strangers.
• Do one random act of kindness a day.
• Give back by donating round ups to support charitable causes that matter to you.
• Record yourself voicing with passion a list of meaningful affirmations, and listen daily. (I used this one to quit smoking.)

This is not about productivity.
It’s about regulation.

Ritual works because the nervous system learns through repetition. Trauma fragments time. Ritual repairs it. When something is done daily, gently, with meaning, it teaches your system: I am safe enough to stay present.

There probably isn’t one thing on this list that you have done while actively using. There just isn’t time for rituals when we are in that place, especially healthy ones.

That’s where real spiritual growth happens—not in grand moments, but in consistency without force.

This is not a habit to track or perfect. It’s a signal to your body and mind that you are choosing yourself, again and again.

Over time, these small rituals become the scaffolding of a new spiritual life—one grounded in lived experience, not belief alone. I think you will be pleasantly surprised how fast good things will start happening. One of my biggest game changers is when I realized that my outer world is a direct reflection of my inner world.

The healing process is messy. God, is it messy. 

There is no straight line. No clean timeline. No universal formula. It requires confronting the nature of behavioral health conditions with clear eyes, an open-mind, and a courageous heart. It means facing relapse triggers, emotional regression, grief, anger, and doubt without romanticizing or denying them.

There are many treatment options. What works is deeply personal. Survey data and focus groups can inform future research, but they cannot replace lived experience.

Evidence matters—but so does meaning.

Structure matters—but so does autonomy.

This framework does not replace clinical care. It does not override professional guidance. It exists alongside it, filling the gaps that treatment alone often cannot reach: identity, purpose, and spiritual integration.

As I have mentioned and will continue to mention, my journey has been one of much trial and error. Not only for me, but for my clients over the years. Without my clients I would never have mastered this framework. It took all of us a great deal of trial and error before finding what worked, but once we nailed it success continues to flow.

Your journey is yours.

• Not your family’s.
• Not a program’s.
• Not a system’s.
• Not Mine.

This is not about fixing what’s broken.
It’s about building what was never supported.

And these first steps—simple, intentional, repeatable—are how a new life begins to take shape. One of my most game changing books is The Compound Effect By Darren Hardy. I can’t recommend this book enough.

To summarize: small changes add up to big results over time. It doesn’t sound or look like much, but damn….

Small, intentional changes—done consistently—reshape a life in ways that feel almost invisible at first. When you commit to improving even a fraction each day, those choices stack on themselves, quietly multiplying your growth over time. Just like interest compounds in a savings account, daily habits compound in your personal life.

What you repeat—whether supportive or self-sabotaging—gains momentum. This is why consistency matters far more than intensity. Brief, repeatable actions, like moving your body for a few minutes or reading a single page, create real, lasting transformation not because they are dramatic, but because they are sustainable. Over time, what once felt insignificant becomes the foundation of profound change.

It’s time to build the future of your wildest dreams, but for real this time.

Brick by brick.
With clarity.
With courage.
On your terms.

If this post resonated with you or you would like to add or share something, please do so in the comments below. You know I love to hear from you. You could also support my work by liking, sharing, commenting, subscribing, following, and registering to join our free-of-charge, supportive, all-inclusive, judgment-free, meet-you-where-your-at online community where teachers learn. Learners teach all while working together to #provethemallwrong and #showthemwhatwecando.

In our support forums, you can give or receive support all on the same day. This community is for all of us who are more progressors, less perfectors. Addiction is not a prerequisite. All are welcome. This is a new, growing community, so please be patient. If there are any issues, please contact me at [email protected].