I must admit that I had no idea what was meant by ‘self-mastery.’ I have never been a very self-aware person. I was too on my grind to slow down for a second and do a self-check-in. Looking back I wish I had. Life is just so busy and most of my existence has been really hard. We are now at the point where we need to talk about self-mastery.

What’s standing in the way of us reaching the level of success we desire, enjoying a great relationship, or seeing our abs for the first time? Is the problem that we don’t know enough? No. Is there too much competition? Not even close. The only obstacle is a lack of mastery over ourselves. Don’t believe it?

You will.

Are we in great shape? Do we only eat healthy foods? Why not? Is it because we’re confused about which foods are healthy and which are not? Are we confused about whether it’s better to exercise by running down the block or by doing Supernatural workouts in VR? Hardly. We know enough to make significant changes in our lives. Knowledge isn’t the challenge. The challenge is managing ourselves and our behaviors.

Haven’t had a date in a year? Are you confused about how to get a date? The key to getting dates is to ask people out. How many people have you asked out in the last week? How many new people have you spoken to in the last week? Are you able to say the things that need to be said? Are you able to be silent when you know you should? Can you make yourself go to the gym or eat an apple instead of
a piece of apple pie? It sounds like easy enough stuff but we know that things are commonly not always as easy as it sounds.

From that, you can achieve all your other goals! Use these strategies to become the master of yourself:

1. Make a list of the things you should do each day, but aren’t. Basically, healthy habits you want to begin doing daily or weekly. This list might include things like exercising, playing the piano for 20 minutes, drinking eight glasses of water, paying your bills, flossing, and making social connections. You can also make or buy some habit tracker sheets to keep track.

2. Make a list of the things you do each day, but shouldn’t. Maybe you stay up too late, watch too much TV, waste time playing video games, smoke, and show up late to work. Think about all the things you do that sacrifice your health, career, finances, social life, and happiness.

3. Begin by addressing one item from each list. Slowly eliminate one of the negative items and add one of the positive items. Habits are challenging to change, but you’ve developed habits without even trying. Imagine what you can accomplish intentionally.

4. Have a long-term focus. Negative behaviors have short-term rewards. Eating ice cream or watching TV is rewarding immediately. They can be harmful in the long term, but they pay off right now. Adopt a long-term focus and consider the long-term implications of your
behavior before you indulge in it. What will it cost you down the road if you don’t change?

5. Realize that your body is the enemy. Why does a person eat a bag of potato chips instead of an orange? He imagines himself eating chips. Then he imagines eating an orange. Then he chooses the one that feels better. But your body is deceiving you. It’s only concerned with safety and reproduction. It cares little for your longevity or your long-term prospects. Humans seek pleasure, just like any other animal. The advantage humans have over animals is the ability to make decisions and not follow instinct. The disadvantage humans have is the ability to create pleasurable foods and activities that are detrimental to long-term success and survival. Self-mastery is the key. If you can master yourself, everything else becomes easy.

6. Keep a positive mindset NO… MATTER… WHAT… I struggled with a negative mindset for my entire life, and being that I spent my life being addicted to heroin and going in and out of jail it was a hard one to break. When I stopped the “…going to go to jail anyway. Might as well.” thing don’t you know I stopped going to jail? If you start making small positive changes to your mindset now in six months whoa!

It’s easy to get ahead at work. It’s easy to be healthy. It’s easy to save money and maintain relationships. Can you master yourself? Key your attention to the long-term impact of behaviors and avoid short-term pleasures that lead to long-term challenges. Also, remember that making small one small change every day isn’t anything to us. What is going to blow your mind is what that small change or habit adds up to over time. If you’re like me you have no patience and you want what you want when you want it. Starting with one small habit was extremely hard for me but I just stuck with the program and as a result, I have been so rewarded for my patience, and you will be too.