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Lesson 1: Embracing Vulnerability in Addiction Recovery

Lesson 1: Embracing Vulnerability in Addiction Recovery

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Do you have a habit of going against the grain and anything else you can possibly go up against? Yeah, me too, despite the fact that it only ever got me one place: jail. The good news is that change is not only possible—it’s inevitable, and I am here to help lead the way.

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31 Ways to Embrace Vulnerability in Addiction Recovery

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Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

Brené Brown

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I have put a lot of thought into the best ways I can help my community and this series was at the top of the list. I am also writing my memoir with the same name. I often say that I wish I could take everything I have learned and just place it in your heads. I was so stubborn. I knew everything. You weren’t telling me anything. I knew it all. So much so that when my mom called my house back in 2000 and told me my house was getting raided, I yelled at her and hung up, never thinking of it again until I was sitting on my hallway floor handcuffed with guns to my melon. We know nothing. I will say that again because it’s so important. WE KNOW NOTHING, and the sooner you accept that, the easier your journey will be. Mine lasted twenty years. Do not do that to yourself. Trust me on this.

quote icon“Carl Jung wrote, ‘Only the paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life.’ We are complex beings who wake up every day and fight against being labeled and diminished with stereotypes and characterizations that don’t reflect our fullness. Yet when we don’t risk standing on our own and speaking out, when the options laid before us force us into the very categories we resist, we perpetuate our own disconnection and loneliness. When we are willing to risk venturing into the wilderness, and becoming our own wilderness, we feel the deepest connection to our true self and to what matters most.”

-Brene Brown

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Section 2:My Personal Journey with Vulnerabilityin Addiction Recovery

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Background

My journey through addiction and homelessness was one of the most challenging periods of my life. It was a time filled with darkness, isolation, and a seemingly endless cycle of despair. I believed that showing any sign of weakness would only make things worse. I had to be tough, unyielding, and self-reliant—or so I thought. I never shared my story or talked about the past because it was the past. I just focused on being the best drug dealer I could be because, believe it or not, I always cared about being a good person, even as a drug dealer.

 

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Embracing vulnerability wasn’t and isn’t easy. I won’t lie to you. The initial steps were fraught with fear and doubt. I worried and still worry about being judged, rejected, or seen as weak. It felt like stripping away layers of armor I had worn for years, leaving me exposed and defenseless. But with each step, I discovered a newfound strength within myself. I also realized around this time that vulnerability didn’t necessarily mean asking for things. Sometimes, just sharing your honest feelings on a topic or sharing your personal experiences is more than enough.

 

I faced numerous challenges along the way. Opening up about my addiction meant confronting the shame and guilt that had plagued me for so long. It required me to ask for help, something I had always avoided. There were times when I stumbled and moments when I questioned whether this path was worth it. But each time I allowed myself to be vulnerable, I found a little more freedom and a lot more connection.

 

Embracing vulnerability became a crucial part of my recovery process and was a powerful tool. It taught me that I didn’t have to go through this journey alone. By opening up, I built a network of support, a community that stood by me through the ups and downs. I learned that vulnerability wasn’t a sign of weakness but a testament to my courage and resilience.

 

My story is a testament to the transformative power of vulnerability. It’s a journey from isolation to connection, from shame to acceptance, and from despair to hope. By embracing vulnerability, I not only found my way out of addiction but also discovered a strength I never knew I had. And it all started with the simple yet profound act of letting myself be seen.

 

Section 3:The Power of Vulnerability in Recovery

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Healing

Embracing vulnerability was the key to unlocking my healing process. When I allowed myself to be vulnerable, I could finally confront the root causes of my addiction. Instead of masking my pain with substances, I began to face it head-on. This meant acknowledging past traumas, understanding my emotional triggers, and learning to cope with them in healthier ways. Vulnerability paved the way for genuine self-reflection and growth, transforming my approach to recovery from mere survival to thriving.

Building Trust

One of the most profound changes that came from embracing vulnerability was the ability to build trust—both with myself and with others. By being open about my struggles and fears, I learned to trust my own emotions and judgments. I no longer needed to rely on external validation or hide behind a façade. This newfound self-trust was crucial in my recovery journey, as it empowered me to make healthier choices and stay committed to my path.

Moreover, vulnerability allowed me to forge deeper connections with those around me. When I shared my story and my true self, it invited others to do the same. This mutual exchange of honesty and openness created a foundation of trust that was incredibly supportive. I realized that I wasn’t alone in my struggles; there were people who genuinely understood and cared. This sense of community was invaluable, providing the encouragement and accountability I needed to keep moving forward.

Support System

A supportive, judgment-free community became a cornerstone of my recovery. Embracing vulnerability meant I could openly seek help and support without fear of being judged or rejected. This community—whether it was a support group, friends, family, or online forums—played a critical role in my healing. They offered a safe space where I could express my feelings, share my progress, and receive encouragement.

The power of vulnerability in building this support system cannot be overstated. It transformed my relationships from superficial interactions to meaningful connections. These connections provided the strength and resilience I needed during tough times, reminding me that I wasn’t alone and that my journey mattered. Vulnerability turned my support system into a lifeline, one that was built on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine care.

By embracing vulnerability, I discovered a powerful tool that not only facilitated my healing but also enriched my life in countless ways. It taught me that true strength lies in being authentic and in allowing ourselves to be seen and supported. This lesson has been instrumental in my recovery and continues to shape my journey as I move forward, one honest step at a time.

Section 4: Practical Steps to Embrace Vulnerability

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Embracing vulnerability is a journey, and it starts with small, intentional steps. Here are some practical ways to begin incorporating vulnerability into your recovery process and daily life:

Acknowledgment

The first step towards embracing vulnerability is acknowledging your true feelings. This means being honest with yourself about your emotions, struggles, and fears. Believe me I know EXACTLY how hard this is. My first hurdle was “be honest with myself? WHat does that evem mean?” Looking back I see that alot of my journey I was jicking and screaming even if it didnt feek like it. Now, I can openly admit I am a pain in the a$$.

Instead of burying or ignoring your feelings, take time each day to reflect on them. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this. Write down your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Allow yourself to feel and process whatever comes up. This practice of self-acknowledgment is the foundation of vulnerability.

All I did in jail was read and write, so I had a hard time with journaling again initially. My advice is to use an app like Notion, which is my favorite, or Day One.

You would be surprised how much insight can be gained when you re-visit entries.

 

Open Communication

Communicating openly with others is crucial in embracing vulnerability. I started with simply giving complements or start by sharing your feelings and experiences with a trusted friend, family member, or support group.

Be honest about your struggles and needs. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but remember that vulnerability fosters deeper, more authentic connections. When you open up, you create space for others to do the same, building a network of mutual support, and let me tell you this is a beautiful thing.

Here are some tips for open communication:

Start Small: Begin with small, manageable disclosures. Share a recent challenge or emotion with someone you trust.

Be Honest: Speak from your heart and be true to your experiences. Avoid sugar-coating or downplaying your feelings.

Listen Actively: When others share their stories, listen with empathy and without judgment. This creates a safe space for reciprocal vulnerability.

Self-Compassion

Here are some ways to practice self-compassion:

Mindful Self-Talk: Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge negative self-talk. Replace it with affirmations of self-love and understanding.

Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.

Forgiveness: Forgive yourself for past mistakes and recognize that every step forward is progress, no matter how small.

Setting Boundaries

While being vulnerable is about openness, it’s also important to set healthy boundaries. Not everyone deserves access to your innermost thoughts and feelings. Determine who you trust and feel safe with, and be selective about whom you share with. Boundaries protect your emotional well-being and ensure that your vulnerability is honored and respected.

By taking these practical steps, you can begin to embrace vulnerability as a powerful tool for growth and recovery. It’s a process that requires courage, patience, and practice, but the rewards—authentic connections, self-discovery, and healing—are immeasurable. Remember, vulnerability is not a destination but a journey, one that opens the door to a more fulfilling and connected life.

Section 5: #provethemallwrong#showthemwhatwecando

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Embracing vulnerability isn’t just about personal change—it’s also about helping and inspiring others. Everything I have done for the last four years of my life has been to give back and help others with the help that wasn’t available to me before addiction was considered a disease. I was on my own, and NOBODY should have to go through what I went through.

I created this blog because I noticed how rarely our press featured individuals overcoming the odds and beating addiction, even with years of incarceration and criminal thinking. I decided I would have to publish myself, being that all of the major media outlets are owned by the same people, perpetuating the misery and disconnectedness of addiction.

On my journey through recovery & life coaching and through my SUD therapy caseload, I realized that helping them was helping me. When I first started this blog, I had seven clients, and not one of them could afford coaching. How could I turn them away?

That’s not my style. I had been turned away my whole life. I took a chance, and almost all of those clients are my proudest achievements. I have been paid back 10-fold via their happiness and accomplishments.

Being the first big drug raid in my small town for heroin before addiction was considered a disease, I was looked at like I was lower than dirt by my entire town. They looked down on me and laughed when my mental illness was pasted on the front page of our local newspaper. I made it so easy for them to feel good about themselves.

In 2016 that all changed. I found out I was pregnant at the age of thirty-five. I walked out of my apartment where I sold drugs and checked myself into our local homeless shelter with the clothes on my back, a 450-credit score, and a correctional GPS around my ankle. Three years later I purchased my own 350k home, for the first time, proving them all wrong. I haven’t stopped since and I simply want to help empower others to come to the realization that I came to. I AM WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN MY ADDICTION HAS SERVED ME, AND SO ARE YOU!

My campaign to #provethemallwrong celebrates resilience and determination. One of the above mentioned clients overcame addiction and doubt and is now on her way to becoming a successful entrepreneur.

Her openness inspires others to believe in their potential. In one monumental moment, she shared with me that it was her desire to truly prove them all wrong that got her through the most challenging parts of her recovery journey, and I couldn’t be more proud.

The couple that I worked with during that same time faced addiction and homelessness together. Through vulnerability and mutual support, they rebuilt their lives and now advocate for others facing homelessness resulting from addiction. They let me know regularly that they won’t stop showing them what we can do, just as I had for them.

Seeing these clients show vulnerability’s transformative power and foster connection and empathy has been more rewarding than anything as trivial as an hourly wage ever could be. I can’t tell you how proud I am to be a part of their journeys.

Section 6: A Call to Action

Now, it’s your turn. I encourage you to take that first step towards embracing vulnerability in your own life. Whether you’re battling addiction, supporting a loved one, or simply seeking a deeper connection with yourself and others, know that your journey matters. Share your story, open up to those you trust, and join our supportive, judgment-free community. 

Please, I would love for you to share your own journey using #provethemallwrong and #showthemwhatwecando to inspire and connect with others who are on the same path. Let’s prove doubters wrong and show our collective strength by spreading the good word and paying it forward every step of the way.

We truly all are in this together. No man left behind. Life is so precious, and I am making it count in every way I can for the many I have lost. A day does not go by that I am not missing and loving every single one.

Section 7: Conclusion

Remember, vulnerability is not about exposing your weaknesses; it’s about owning your truth and allowing yourself to be seen. It’s about finding strength in honesty and building a life filled with genuine connections, resilience, and hope. By embracing vulnerability, we not only heal ourselves but also inspire and uplift those around us.

Let’s continue to break the chains of addiction, build a supportive community, and create a future where everyone can thrive. Together, we can prove them all wrong and show them what we can do. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.

Stay strong, stay true, and keep progressing—not perfecting. When you get too caught up in the unattainable goal of perfecting, you lose precious sight of your progress, and when you lose sight, you lose the fight. Don’t do that to yourself. Progress is perfect around here. It’s all that’s needed, truly.

If This Post...

If this post resonated with you or you have something you would like to add or share, please do so in the comments below. You know I love to hear from you.

You could also support my work by liking, sharing, commenting, subscribing, following, and registering to join our free-of-charge, supportive, all-inclusive, judgment-free, meet-you-where-your-at online community where teachers learn, and learners teach all while working together to #provethemallwrong and #showthemwhatwecando.

In our support forums, you can give support or receive support all on the same day. This community is for all of us who are more progressors, less perfectors. Addiction is not a prerequisite. All are welcome. This is a new, growing community, so please have patience, and if there are any issues, please contact me at [email protected]

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“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

-Brene Brown

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By sharing my truth, I give others permission to share theirs. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness and I am proud of myself for having the courage to share.

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2 Comments

  1. Nick Dominique

    I love the first 2 lessons, Sam. Nobody ever wants to talk about the fact that we can’t handle being vulnerable again it’s why we use in the first place. Can’t wait for more lessons. I appreciate how you want to help us so much. That’s what keeps me coming back. You need to start sending your newsletter! 😞

    Reply
    • Samantha Bushika

      I am glad to hear this, Nick. It’s really nice of you to take the time to let me know. If you have any suggestions for topics let me know. I appreciate you and your kindness. Be well, friend.

      Reply

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